Too often I hear my clients, friends and women in general talk negatively about themselves, saying things such as "My hips are too big", "I need to lose about 20 pounds" or "My clothes are horrible." Not very uplifting, is it? Yet that's the kind of self-talk that many of us have running through our minds as we compare ourselves to the unrealistic expectations that have been created for us by the fashion and beauty world. And when we compare ourselves to the celebrities, models and imagery that we are bombarded with, it's only natural that we think of them as the 'ideal' of beauty. Do we need to run out and have liposuction, a breast enhancement and Botox? No, what we need is a re-frame!
Now let's talk about the ideal of beauty. You were born beautiful and you grew up beautiful. Whether you felt it or not is another story. But when we can step away from our self-talk and our unrealistic expectations that do nothing but set us up for failure, we can begin to see our beauty unfold in an amazing way! Follow these steps and you'll begin to see yourself in a whole new light:
1/ Quit comparing yourself to celebrities and even your friends! I know, celebrity style is everywhere and every magazine thinks we want to look just like them. Well guess what! We don't, and we couldn't even if we tried. Holding ourself against such unrealistic expectations (heck, even the celebs don't look like the pictures in the mags. Photoshop works wonders on a few extra pounds) can erode our self-esteem and undermine our confidence. And it's just plain silly, so stop it right now!
2/ Take a good long look in the mirror and take note of what you see. If any negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a positive one of gratitude. If you start to think, "I wish my hair were long and luxurious just like Jennifer Aniston's", give yourself a re-frame: "I am grateful for my fabulous short hair that enhances my face and makes styling quick and easy." Does Jennifer Aniston have gorgeous hair? You bet, but yours is pretty darn fabulous too! And if you're not happy with your current style perhaps it's time to try something new.
3/ Notice what's great about you and play it up! Do you have the most beautiful blue eyes? Then wear a blue shirt that makes them pop! How about a great complexion or gorgeous long legs? Try a beautiful new shade of lipstick or wearing a short skirt. Take note of what's good about you and put your attention on that. When you play up the positive and focus on what you love about yourself, the rest just fades into the background.
4/ Dress for the body you have right now. Wear clothing that fits your body, shows your shape and helps you to create balance. Are you a size 16? Great, then get yourself an outfit that flatters you to the hilt and strut your stuff! Are you a size 6? Then I'll give you the same advice. Hint: No matter what size you are, don't hide behind big, baggy clothes. They'll just make you look bigger and will give you a frumpy look that's not flattering on anyone.
5/ Wear clothing that makes you feel incredible! I mean it. When you get dressed and put on an outfit you LOVE that really expresses who you are, it's magical! You just feel more like you - but the best part is how it can boost your confidence! When you look in the mirror and see a chic, pulled-together woman you can help but say "YES!" to yourself. And when you say yes to yourself, the world says yes to you!
Looking great and feeling beautiful are about so much more than just the clothes you wear. I want to see you not only look fabulous on the outside, but on the inside too. Because when you feel fabulous and look fabulous it impacts everyone around you! You radiate confidence and the world is a different place. So, are you ready to see how beautiful you really are?